It’s been three years since I retired from my nursing career, and the fog is starting to lift.

At my desk as I write I glance up at the wall that holds my retirement plaque with all the best wishes from the amazing women I worked with at the “end.” All the kind words about the best yet to come and all the adventures that lie ahead. Congratulations and Happy Retirement sentiments. But can I just say that even though there’s lots of hopeful meanings in the messages, I’ve struggled a bit to realize them? This is my attempt to reflect on why.

On a very foggy winter evening, I was driving my husband and I home from an event when I became so disoriented that the route I’ve driven over decades of my life was unrecognizable to me. I had to stop the car to try to figure out where I was before I could go any further. Before I was allowed to figure it all out, he took the wheel, and we eventually made it home safely. This analogy helps me clear some of the fog that has been closing in on me to see a clearer path forward. The path where God is at the wheel.

One question I grew to dread post-retirement was, “How are you enjoying your retirement?” Of course, I loved being available for my family more and spending more time with grandkids and not having to try to trade hours or make sure I had vacation to cover an absence. But still something was nagging my soul. I know that I am not discovering anything new here, the decision fog of what to do with your time when you are the one appropriating it. But it was new to me. When every day is potentially a day off, and you get to decide how to spend it. I had never truly been there before and you, my dear reader, may have this ahead of you, be in the fog right now, or are gloriously living beyond it. It is my prayer that this helps you not to dread that kind and caring question.

There are purposes and plans for us that may not be tied to our careers, or age, and we do not have to have a productive day to verify our worth or prove to the world that we are worthy to take up space. God is allowing each breath we take and will never fail to continually shower us with blessings as we seek Him. I have seen this in my own life and want to encourage you to reflect on all the good things He allows in your days. Give gratitude to Him and become more joyful, stronger in faith, and peace filled. This is our ultimate purpose. Living in God’s will is the plan.

Ask God what the next assignment is. Then listen and watch as He speaks into your heart with a clear direction. Then follow it. That’s obedience and He loves it. Ask the Holy Spirit for discernment for God will never ask you to do anything that is contrary to His Word. That is why Bible Study is so important if we want to live a clear, godly purpose in this world. This doesn’t mean it will be easy, in fact, it may be truly difficult to stand for truth and speak the truth in love. But there is no greater joy than to know that Jesus is with us; I have experienced the sweetest times in His presence when the pain I was experiencing could not be relieved by what this world had to offer.

So, the fog is clearing, with God at the wheel, I can navigate new-to-me territory, and the view is amazing. I wish I could say that I’ve made the best use of my “free” time, but that would not be the truth. I wish I would have spent less time wringing my hands and wondering what to do and more time seeking, asking and receiving. But some lessons take a while to learn and there’s always forgiveness, restoration and redeeming of “lost” time. That’s what only God can do, if we let Him.

Let Him.

Pray that His Holy Spirit will guide you to do the things, speak the words and live your days for His glory. If you have trouble finding the words, borrow some from King David. After 13 verses of praising God for His creation, His Word and expressing his longing to be using his time and energy and all he is in ways that please His God, David says in Psalm 19:4, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.”

And for those of us regretting the time spent in the fog of indecisiveness, let’s take heart in the promise of God that we find in Joel 2:25, “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.”

Just the thought of these consuming critters sends chills up my spine. But they remind me of how if we live fearful of stepping out of our comfort zone, or are preoccupied with what the world thinks, those fears can eat away at our resolve and before we know it, the great gift of time that God gives us to live for His glory and serve Him for His glory can slip away. Don’t let it.

For His glory, I believe I have my answer ready the next time someone asks, “How are you enjoying retirement?” I can honestly say, “It’s a good journey and I truly am happy to be on it.” As the fog clears.